Tuesday, I’ll be interviewing a reader, Cathie, over at my group blog, Textyladies. She has so much to say about what she looks for in a book, what she buys, how she hears about new releases, and so much more. Be sure to stop over. And if you do, please leave a comment to let us know you were there!
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Last night I had the strangest dream. I’m not sure I can remember it all, but I’ll try. Lucky you;)
I was in someone’s bathroom. On the sink was a dish with some antique shower curtain hooks. These things were made way before anyone even thought about having shower curtains, but that’s the thing about dreams. They don’t have to make sense.
These hooks belonged to Leigh Royals. I picked one up to examine it, and I’m telling you-the thing was OLD. So old that the stuff growing on the back of it seemed to belong there. But, and here’s the really horrid part, something started to move through the gunk on the back; right at the top, three hairy little legs started wiggling their way out. Okay, so it’s a spider. An evil, hairy, HUGE spider. (and no, I’m not going to go find a picture to post. I can barely write the S word)
Of course I throw the shower curtain hook and scream, and take off running. In the other room are two rows of people, and I have no idea what they’re doing. I don’t care, either. I simply want someone to come kill Evil. I scream and yell and gesture, and finally a man steps out of the midst of the people to take care of the problem. My hero.
Bob Saget. I kid you not. Bob frigging Saget. I mean, come on! My knight in shining armor is Bob Saget? Sheesh. Whatever. Anyway, he picks up something that looks like a ruler to kill said humongous spider. Yeah. A ruler.
It didn’t seem at all odd in my dream that Bob Saget was killing a two ton spider in a bathroom that didn’t belong to me. The stupidity of going after it with a ruler was what got me. So I’m running around trying to find a heavy book, or something a little more substantial, and Bob Saget starts taking pictures of the beast he’s supposed to squash! Or poke, or whatever he’s planning on doing with that flat stick he seems to think is appropriate for killing monsters from hell.
Bad thing is, he’s taking pictures of a spider all right, but this is not the spider I saw in the bathroom. This is a whole new spider, and it jumps a foot in the air every time he tries to take its picture. I’m screaming at him to stop acting like it’s Naomi Campbell and step on the hideous thing before it hops on me. I’m also trying to get it through to him and the other people that while this spider needs to die a lingering death, it’s not the monstrosity in the bathroom.
Noooooo. There’s a bigger, badder spider just waiting in the shadows. Waiting for me, I tell you! They do that, see. Come after me like I’m the juiciest fly they’ve ever seen. Bastages. Hate ‘em.
Anyway, my man Saget, ruler at the ready, finally kills the jumping spider, and we head off to the bathroom. Well, they do. I stand well back with my knuckles planted firmly against my front teeth.
Do they kill the spider? Does it eat the ruler, Bob Saget, and all the people who followed him in? I don’t know. That’s all I remember. And doesn’t that just figure? You’d think I’d at least get the satisfaction of hearing the words, yes, I’ve killed the spider.
Ugh. I just hope it doesn’t make a return visit tonight. I hope Bob Saget doesn’t either. Or at least, give the man a shotgun. That was a big spider.
Tags: dreams, Interview, phobias, reader, Spiders